写景这般写，作文多得好几分。看语文老师给你写中招范文
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">老师给你写范文——中小学系列</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">《____的春》抒情、感悟写作技巧</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">例文/刘雷生 网络学生投稿</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">（视频讲解<span style="color: black;">能够</span>关注刘老师视频专栏）</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">《醉人的春》</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">原题再现：</span></strong><span style="color: black;">春天是美好的，古往今来多少文人墨客用诗歌赞颂：不知细叶谁裁出？二月春风似剪刀、若待上林花似锦,出门俱是看花人......你对春有什么别样的情或感悟吗？</span><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">请以《___的春》为题，补全题目，写一篇作文。</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">需求</span>：字数不少于600字</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">不得<span style="color: black;">显现</span>真实人名、地名</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">（除诗歌外）体裁不限</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">题目解析：</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">这篇作文的材料给了<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>写作的思路，那<span style="color: black;">便是</span>借景抒情，<span style="color: black;">然则</span><span style="color: black;">大众</span>要记得，融情于理<span style="color: black;">亦</span>是<span style="color: black;">能够</span>的，<span style="color: black;">因此</span>，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>把眼光放宽，不要仅仅局限于表达最大自然的热爱之情，<span style="color: black;">亦</span><span style="color: black;">能够</span>从自然中觅得哲理，古往今来，多少古诗文，不都是将深刻的哲理蕴藏在美景之中？</span></p>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 10px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/tos-cn-i-qvj2lq49k0/8baa66fc71c24670a65055e37ac52d3e~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1728671757&x-signature=EaydbC8m32UfrwMvdaMP%2Fu%2B1bp0%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></div>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">朋友</span>开头原文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">初春太阳真温暖，不去游玩枉少年。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">正是初春好时节，爸爸妈妈跟我<span style="color: black;">一块</span>外出，去荒山游玩。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">其实，和<span style="color: black;">哪些</span>景区对比，我最<span style="color: black;">爱好</span>不收门票的荒山了，<span style="color: black;">不仅</span>是<span style="color: black;">由于</span>不要钱，更重要的，是<span style="color: black;">这儿</span><span style="color: black;">无</span>现代的痕迹，是最朴实，最真实的大自然。一路慢慢向前，高楼大厦渐渐消失了，路<span style="color: black;">亦</span><span style="color: black;">无</span>城市<span style="color: black;">那样</span>多了。于是春天的气息<span style="color: black;">亦</span>就越来越浓了。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">我打开车窗，春风拂面，爸爸听着歌，是他最<span style="color: black;">爱好</span>的《漂洋过海来看你》。在这歌曲中，我望见前方的山，就像是有人画上去的<span style="color: black;">同样</span>，<span style="color: black;">尤其</span><span style="color: black;">美丽</span>。偶尔还有几只小鸟从天空飞过，叽叽喳喳地叫着，<span style="color: black;">好似</span>在向<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>问好。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">我和妈妈<span style="color: black;">亦</span>唱着歌，跟它们比谁唱得好。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师开头批注</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">开头这看起来像诗的句子是你自己写的吧？尤其是<span style="color: black;">第1</span>句，有些<span style="color: black;">不足</span>文雅了，其实第二句还是<span style="color: black;">能够</span>的，咱们把<span style="color: black;">第1</span>句那个真温暖改一下。其次，小鸟<span style="color: black;">好似</span>给<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>问好，这个修辞过于俗套，<span style="color: black;">意见</span>换掉。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师开头例文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">初春艳阳晴方好，不去迎风枉少年。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">时值初春，阳光正好，微风不燥，正是踏青的好时光，是日，父母带我游郊外荒山。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">较之与景区，我更爱这荒山，<span style="color: black;">无</span>现代雕琢的痕迹，<span style="color: black;">也</span><span style="color: black;">无</span>凡尘混沌的烟火，一路向南，高楼渐渐变矮，道路愈发单一，直到绿树代替了混凝土，麦田更迭了闹市。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">春的气息扑面而来，我打开车窗，任由春风漫入，父亲打开歌曲，正是《漂洋过海来看你》。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">前方，山的线条已然显现，宛如有一个善于水墨的花甲在蓝色的空纸上勾勒出一道起伏的墨痕。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">不时间，鸟儿自天际掠过，留下惊鸿一线，我与母亲唱着笑着，与这春的午后融汇于<span style="color: black;">一块</span>。</span></p>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 10px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/tos-cn-i-qvj2lq49k0/b1d25df3ca4940458a119295d2a11cbd~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1728671757&x-signature=2YQBh6ZsBVjRu9zlLK5n5w2sXLA%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></div>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">朋友</span>第六至八段原文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">慢慢地，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>的车从马路上拐弯了，<span style="color: black;">步行到</span>一段崎岖的山路上，山路的旁边<span style="color: black;">便是</span>树，那树枝低垂着，车从<span style="color: black;">这儿</span>经过，它们就摩擦着车顶，留在车顶的绿叶，被风吹着，在车后像一群飞舞的精灵。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">这个时候，我的眼睛似乎都<span style="color: black;">已然</span><span style="color: black;">不足</span>用了，看着左边，右边就看不见了，看着右边呢？左边又看不见了，<span style="color: black;">因此</span>，我只好<span style="color: black;">始终</span>摇头，最后就会晕车，才停止。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">在山路上走了很久，<span style="color: black;">最终</span>到达了终点，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>去的是一家在这山里的农家乐，<span style="color: black;">落车</span>之后，我似乎是穿越到了过去<span style="color: black;">同样</span>，<span style="color: black;">这儿</span>民风淳朴，不时能听到小狗和小鸡的声音，<span style="color: black;">况且</span>在这个院子里还有一个小亭子，亭子里有一张石桌，我来到亭子，看到不远处是一个小湖，湖里面有几艘船，和几只野鸭。<span style="color: black;">这儿</span>真是太美了，就像是陶渊明笔下的桃花源。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师第六至八段批注</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">这几段<span style="color: black;">重点</span>是写景为主的，<span style="color: black;">那样</span>既然是写景，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>最好要写美<span style="color: black;">有些</span>才行，<span style="color: black;">非常多</span><span style="color: black;">朋友</span>在写景的时候总会掉入一个误区，那<span style="color: black;">便是</span>一一介绍。把你看到的景物都<span style="color: black;">陈列</span>了出来，看起来多丰富，实则很杂，<span style="color: black;">况且</span><span style="color: black;">无</span>美的感觉，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>写景的时候，最好<span style="color: black;">根据</span><span style="color: black;">必定</span><span style="color: black;">次序</span>，其次，多用<span style="color: black;">有些</span>修辞和形容词。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师六至八段例文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">车速放慢，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>从马路驶出，继而颠簸在崎岖的山路。山间的树，疏影横斜，扶着车，吱吱作响。留在车顶的一堆绿叶，随即又被风吹下，于车后留下一片飞舞的霓裳。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">这刻，我的眼睛早已<span style="color: black;">不足</span>用了，看左边便会漏掉右边的景，看右边便会漏掉左边的春，我只得在车中<span style="color: black;">一直</span>地摇头，直到有些晕车才肯罢休。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">车<span style="color: black;">最终</span>停下了，是在山中的一处庄园，犬吠于野，鸡鸣在路。炊烟随着微风，在空中翩然，诱人的美味自屋内蔓延。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">院中有小亭一座，亭内设石桌一张，我坐在其中，望着窗外那一潭湖水。湖上，几叶扁舟游荡，数只野鸭依偎，岸芷町兰，郁郁青青，一派祥和，宛若陶潜笔下的世外桃源。</span></p>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 10px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/tos-cn-i-qvj2lq49k0/eb566ec401a14f06ac4b04c0645c9180~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1728671757&x-signature=MugldmguJuv%2F1kM%2B6S0d2ckyjqE%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></div>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">朋友</span>九至十段原文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">忽然间，我想到了林逋，他梅妻鹤子，隐居山里。这是多少人<span style="color: black;">皆想</span>过的生活呀？<span style="color: black;">不消</span>挣钱，<span style="color: black;">不消</span>学习。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">可是，这美景到处都是，<span style="color: black;">为何</span>现代<span style="color: black;">无</span>像林逋<span style="color: black;">这般</span>的人了呢？其实我觉得，这并不是<span style="color: black;">由于</span><span style="color: black;">无</span><span style="color: black;">这般</span>的景色了，而是人的想法改变了，<span style="color: black;">非常多</span>人说自己压力大，其实，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>想想，有多少压力都是<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>自己自找的呢？一日三餐，粗茶淡饭就<span style="color: black;">能够</span>，为啥要吃好吃的呢？<span style="color: black;">倘若</span><span style="color: black;">针对</span>物质的<span style="color: black;">需求</span>不<span style="color: black;">那样</span>高，压力就会减轻<span style="color: black;">非常多</span>吧？</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师九至十段批注</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">林逋隐居，是为了<span style="color: black;">不消</span>挣钱<span style="color: black;">不消</span>学习吗？你说<span style="color: black;">不消</span>挣钱，我能理解，<span style="color: black;">然则</span>林逋隐居断然不是为了<span style="color: black;">不消</span>学习呀，相反，是为了更好更安静地学习。其次，你最后这个观点其实很好，让整篇<span style="color: black;">文案</span>的立意一下子深刻<span style="color: black;">非常多</span>，身为一个初中生，能想到这些，实属<span style="color: black;">很难</span>，<span style="color: black;">不外</span>，且听刘老师一句：什么年纪就去做什么年纪的事情，倘若十几岁便学会与世无争，<span style="color: black;">那样</span>势必对人生<span style="color: black;">欠好</span>。青春，就要有青春的冲劲。<span style="color: black;">所说</span>道理，都会随着人的阅历而改变，你<span style="color: black;">此刻</span>得出的这个道理，若是放在三十岁之后，并无<span style="color: black;">不当</span>，但若是你这个年纪，刘老师觉得过于早熟了。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师第九至十段例文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">赫然间，我脑中想起林逋，他以梅为妻，以鹤做子，隐居山中悠然<span style="color: black;">一辈子</span>。这是多少人梦中想要的生活？<span style="color: black;">无</span>压力、<span style="color: black;">无</span><span style="color: black;">懊恼</span>。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">可是，这美景处处都有，<span style="color: black;">为么</span>林逋难寻呢？我想这并非因景，而是因人。如今的<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>，为学业所累，待到<span style="color: black;">成长</span>成人，又要为生计<span style="color: black;">奔走</span>，这些压力难道不是因自己而生吗？一日三餐，粗茶淡饭，物质的追求一旦平淡，那么压力就会随之减轻，可是，如林逋般，又有几人呢？</span></p>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 10px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/tos-cn-i-qvj2lq49k0/11df49059e62464caeb5e9e7cf40d29b~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1728671757&x-signature=kOP1eaueafV2faZlElZQEz9SBV4%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></div>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">朋友</span>结尾原文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">春天<span style="color: black;">那样</span>美，奈何没人看。人生能有几十个<span style="color: black;">这般</span>的春天呢？何不趁着有限的时间，去<span style="color: black;">爱惜</span>这醉人的春呢？</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师结尾批注</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">那样</span>爱写诗，你最好系统地学习一下，打油诗对作文<span style="color: black;">帮忙</span>并不大。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师结尾例文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">不来春色总如约，奈何凡人闭眼寻，几十个<span style="color: black;">这般</span>的春天，人的<span style="color: black;">一辈子</span>便过去了，何不趁着有限的光阴，去<span style="color: black;">爱惜</span>一下，这醉人的春呢？</span></p>
谢谢、感谢、感恩、辛苦了、有你真好等。
页:
[1]