《____的味道》作文怎么写？看语文老师给你写一篇范文
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">老师给你写范文——中小学系列</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">《____的味道》亲情、回忆类写作技巧</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">《艾草的味道》</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">范文/刘雷生 河南学生投稿</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">朋友</span>开头原文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">艾草的味道是亲情的味道，每当我闻到艾草的香味，便会想起从前的时候。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师开头批注</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">上周时刘老师给你上课，讲到了倒叙的开头，这次的作文你用了，这很不错，<span style="color: black;">不外</span>，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span><span style="color: black;">运用</span>倒叙的<span style="color: black;">同期</span>，最好<span style="color: black;">亦</span>不要忘记语言的优美性。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师开头例文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">染上一柱香，袅袅升腾的烟，宛如时光倒流的线，带我飞回到如烟的那天。</span></p>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 10px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/tos-cn-i-qvj2lq49k0/1a2675d1f6994bd5a0e6e9902c7b9d99~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1728664557&x-signature=kW5UWyaByTgR0NmHhDXwYA5%2BEQc%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></div>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">朋友</span>第二至三段原文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">我的老家在农村，小时候每到暑假，我都会跟着妈妈<span style="color: black;">一块</span>回家，农村的风景<span style="color: black;">尤其</span>美，可是有<span style="color: black;">同样</span>我实在是受不了，那<span style="color: black;">便是</span>蚊子<span style="color: black;">尤其</span>的多，那个时候，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>老家的房子<span style="color: black;">亦</span><span style="color: black;">无</span>空调，<span style="color: black;">夜晚</span>睡觉难受死了，热倒还好，关键是蚊子吓人。<span style="color: black;">不外</span>，这是难不倒外婆的。在我后来回家的前几天，外婆就会到田野里弄<span style="color: black;">非常多</span>艾草回来，晒在院子里，等我回家时，它们就<span style="color: black;">已然</span>干了。那个时候我不<span style="color: black;">晓得</span>这些有什么用，我问外婆她<span style="color: black;">亦</span>不说，只会卖关子地笑一笑。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">傍晚，我和小伙伴们<span style="color: black;">一块</span>出去玩，<span style="color: black;">忽然</span>间<span style="color: black;">发掘</span>老屋冒起了烟，我吓一跳，心中想着：是不是家里着火了呢？一想到<span style="color: black;">这儿</span>，我赶紧往家跑，没想到，回到家之后，并不是着火了，外婆告诉我，那是她在用艾草熏蚊子呢。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">听到外婆这么说，于是我<span style="color: black;">亦</span>跑过去，<span style="color: black;">发掘</span>门窗都紧闭着，我贴着门闻了闻，<span style="color: black;">发掘</span>味道还真好闻呀，于是我用力闻了几下，没想到一下子呛得我半死，我咳嗽着，泪花都咳嗽出来了。外婆见状，哈哈大笑起来。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师第二至三段批注</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">这几段语言<span style="color: black;">不足</span><span style="color: black;">详细</span>，尤其是你<span style="color: black;">发掘</span>老屋冒烟时，回家，<span style="color: black;">发掘</span>外婆其实在用艾草熏蚊子，<span style="color: black;">那样</span>最好，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>加入<span style="color: black;">有些</span>细节描写，<span style="color: black;">例如</span>语言、动作等等，还有最好写一下烟雾，毕竟，这篇作文的线索是艾草的烟雾<span style="color: black;">吗</span>，还有一点<span style="color: black;">便是</span>“闻”这个字，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span><span style="color: black;">能够</span>换成“嗅”，<span style="color: black;">由于</span>“嗅”才是用鼻子，而“闻”<span style="color: black;">留意</span>思中还有听的<span style="color: black;">成份</span>，用“嗅”更<span style="color: black;">详细</span>，更贴切。</span></p>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 10px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/tos-cn-i-qvj2lq49k0/cebce6525d0e4db0a2dc626c224dba25~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1728664557&x-signature=mo4B0IjM8Zp96x%2Buk371z%2FTrwYk%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></div>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师第二至三段例文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">老家在农村，交通颇不发达，人们<span style="color: black;">亦</span>极为简朴，外婆便是典型，每到暑假，我便会跟着母亲回老家住上几天，那里的山水，都让我留恋，唯独一点我难以忍受——乡村的蚊子多得吓人，莫说院子里，仅是<span style="color: black;">夜晚</span>的屋内便是数<span style="color: black;">不堪</span>数。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">外婆节俭，<span style="color: black;">无</span>装空调，单单是蚊香收效甚微，可是，这些难不倒外婆，每次我回去之前，外婆就会到田野中弄来许多艾草，放在院子里晒干。我回到老家，这些艾草<span style="color: black;">亦</span>便干了。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">那时年幼，不<span style="color: black;">晓得</span>外婆要做些什么，问她，她<span style="color: black;">亦</span>只是故作<span style="color: black;">奥秘</span>地微微一笑。傍晚时分，吃完饭，我跑出去跟小伙伴们玩耍，不一会儿，只见老屋冒起烟雾来，不大，却在这盛夏的<span style="color: black;">夜晚</span>，格外清楚。失火了？我心中一惊，赶紧回家，哪知，一到院子里，只见外婆正在把屋子里的门窗一个个关紧。透着缝隙，一缕缕烟从屋内漫出。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">外婆示意我坐在她身边，我依偎着她问：“这是在干什么？”外婆摸着我的头：“艾草冒出的烟熏蚊子可是很厉害的。”我急忙问：“那我闻了会怎么样？”外婆哈哈一笑：“熏不着你，你这只小蚊子。”我跑到屋外，顺着门缝，嗅了嗅，那艾草的味道香远益清，颇为好闻，于是，我用力吸了几口，哪知一下子呛着了，咳嗽得泪花都出来了，外婆在一旁看着，笑着。这艾草的味道氤氲在我儿时的记忆中，连同外婆的样子，印在我的脑海里。</span></p>
<div style="color: black; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 10px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/tos-cn-i-qvj2lq49k0/39072dbf6a65476fb8b1c992794b9532~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1728664557&x-signature=auPKqZt6ROdAclWW2eOBVsj7y3U%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></div>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">朋友</span>结尾原文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">这艾草的味道<span style="color: black;">伴同</span>着我的暑假，<span style="color: black;">亦</span><span style="color: black;">伴同</span>着我的童年，可是后来，外婆<span style="color: black;">患病</span>了，再<span style="color: black;">亦</span><span style="color: black;">不可</span>给我用艾草熏蚊子了，再后来，外婆去世了，这辈子都<span style="color: black;">无</span>给我用艾草熏蚊子了。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">想到这件事，我心中总是充满了遗憾，外婆爱我了<span style="color: black;">一生</span>，可是还<span style="color: black;">无</span>等到我<span style="color: black;">成长</span>，她就<span style="color: black;">已然</span>死了。外婆呀，这辈子我真的想再见你一面呀，再闻一闻你熏蚊子的艾草的味道。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师结尾批注</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">你是<span style="color: black;">那样</span>的爱自己的外婆，这篇<span style="color: black;">文案</span><span style="color: black;">亦</span>充满了真情实感，可是，有一点需要<span style="color: black;">重视</span>，那<span style="color: black;">便是</span>用词上，<span style="color: black;">咱们</span>挚爱的人去世，最好不要写“死”，这个字太生硬，毫无情感。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">刘老师结尾例文</span></strong></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">可如今，艾草的味道仍在，外婆却<span style="color: black;">已然</span>入土。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">城市里，再<span style="color: black;">无</span><span style="color: black;">这般</span>的味道了，外婆去世之后，我<span style="color: black;">亦</span>极少回老家，那<span style="color: black;">熟练</span>的艾草的味道，如今渐行渐远，每当盛夏，我都<span style="color: black;">忍不住</span>想起这味道，想起，那此生挚爱的外婆。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">外婆呀，天人永隔，可我却永远不会忘记您的样子，<span style="color: black;">亦</span>许此生<span style="color: black;">再也不</span>相见，即使相见应不识，可是，见一面吧？又有何妨呢？</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><strong style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">近期私聊刘老师修改作文者颇多，恕不一一回复，感谢各位！</span></strong></p>
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