「原创」我帮妈妈做家务——献给您孩儿的起点作文12
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<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">看图作文：</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">仔细观察下图，写一篇作文。<span style="color: black;">需求</span>条理清楚、用词准确、语句通顺。描写<span style="color: black;">名人</span>的动作、神态要<span style="color: black;">详细</span>细致、语言生动、形象。低年级<span style="color: black;">需求</span>写150字<span style="color: black;">上下</span>，中年级写350字<span style="color: black;">上下</span>，高年级写450字<span style="color: black;">上下</span>。</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/37ec00005bf82f6851e0~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1727385132&x-signature=DH5enp880XJc7Kvvi%2B1UqbGJsPI%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">看图作文示例图</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">原文：</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">一年级（162）尹佳晗</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/37ec00005bf92b692cae~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1727385132&x-signature=0K2P%2FIUWHR58gxAvr%2Fptfa2fm1Y%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">家长手机拍的原稿</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">点评：</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><span style="color: black;">此篇看图作文，作者用<span style="color: black;">第1</span>人<span style="color: black;">叫作</span>简明扼要地写了“我”帮妈妈做家务的事。<span style="color: black;">文案</span>语句通顺，想象<span style="color: black;">恰当</span>，这说明作者观察细致，<span style="color: black;">做为</span>一年级的你<span style="color: black;">已然</span>很不错了，点赞！<span style="color: black;">倘若</span>能把“我”帮妈妈做家务活时的神态、动作写得更细致写些那就好了！<span style="color: black;">另一</span>第二段<span style="color: black;">第1</span>行丢一个“在”字。</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">修改文：</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">我帮妈妈做家务</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">一年级（162）尹佳晗</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">从我记事起，妈妈就有干不完的家务活，妈妈要洗衣服、扫地……<span style="color: black;">而后</span>去上班。</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">有一天，妈妈正在房间里擦桌子，我觉得妈妈一个人要干<span style="color: black;">那样</span>多的家务活，肯定会累坏的。于是，我拿来一个大拖把对妈妈说：“妈妈，我来帮忙拖地吧？”;妈妈笑嘻嘻地说：“好哇！” 我拿着拖把<span style="color: black;">来到水池边，拧开水龙头把拖把冲洗干净，滴干<span style="color: black;">有些</span>水后就在地板上来回拖着，不一会儿地板贼亮贼亮的啦！妈妈见了，连连夸赞我：“晗晗，你真棒！你真是我的好宝贝！” ……</span></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/37f3000054b82888e319~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1727385132&x-signature=J%2Fa5uPNROKLrS%2FoNuw9xwBN%2FXZU%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">点评截图</p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;"><img src="https://p3-sign.toutiaoimg.com/37ec00005f46e5253ef4~noop.image?_iz=58558&from=article.pc_detail&lk3s=953192f4&x-expires=1727385132&x-signature=nvjLIHshCYN2Eot6iRy995CwmLU%3D" style="width: 50%; margin-bottom: 20px;"></p>
<p style="font-size: 16px; color: black; line-height: 40px; text-align: left; margin-bottom: 15px;">修改文截图</p>
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